#dearmoms

Motherhood is not easy. Being a boymom is not for the faint of heart. Yet, I find raising my son to be the best part of my life. I’m a single mom and in all of the magnificent mom moments, I do get things wrong from time to time. Like the time I had just returned from maternity leave and each day I picked my son up from daycare, he had bright red cheeks. I didn’t investigate because I guessed he just spent the day crying and fussing because he missed me, when in reality, a worker wore perfume he was allergic to. I messed up by not paying closer attention for weeks. Or like the time he was in 2nd grade and I was so busy working, I failed to take him to an eye doctor for months. When I finally did, the eye doctor not so politely told me he should’ve had glasses long ago. I messed up by not keeping the main thing, the main thing and was focused on bills versus him. Or the time when we moved and I changed his school with the move, not understanding that was too much change at one time.

We are all familiar with the saying, change is the only constant. Every time I learn my son, what works for motivation, what works for discipline, what are his likes and dislikes, he changes. He grows and develops – as he should – and I have to make an adjustment. I remember like it was yesterday, picture day in the hospital. He was not 24 hours old yet and they were coming to take customary newborn pictures. I had his perfect baby blue outfit with matching hat ready to go. I had just fed him and now he laid on the bed looking at me and I standing by the bed looking at him. It was just the two of us. As he stared at me, he quietly studied me. It was my first time alone with my son awake and I was pretty mesmerized by him. I went to take off the hospital attire and his movement startled me a bit. He looked at me as if to say, “I just got here lady, what are you doing?” I smiled and he smiled back and we got picture perfect ready.

I only have a couple more years to prepare my son for his change from being dependent on me as mom, to him being an independent young man. Part of me is looking forward to the change and the other part of me, not so much. While the expectation is that I, as the adult, teach my son (I hope he has learned some things from me), he has taught me. One of the many lessons my son and motherhood has taught me, is to remain diligent about what I’m doing in being Mom. I cannot put him on autopilot. I cannot leave him to his own will or thoughts or desires. I must be purposeful and intentional about him. There has to be a balance of letting him discover and be himself, while still interjecting boundaries and rules and what my home stands for.

I say I’m a single parent, but in reality, God is truly my partner raising this young man. What kind of person will WE produce? When I mess up – definitely when, not if – can I humble myself, even as a parent, to acknowledge I messed up, I blew it, I made a mistake? Once the acknowledgement is made, can I grow and learn from it and continue to be the best Mom I can be?

As I’m being purposeful and intentional about raising my son, partnering with God, I have to be just as mindful to study God’s Word and pray. I have to pray for my son, but also myself. As I partner with God, He helps me to be the best Mom I can be. He helps me not to give up on my son. He helps me make it through those trying times…such as the middle school years.

To my fellow moms, let’s keep doing this. Let’s keep being purposeful and intentional when it comes to our children. We will mess up. We will have sad tears. But it’s not over. You got this. On purpose. For purpose.

Resources:

A great book that helped me is 14 Secrets to Better Parenting by Dave Earley. You can get it here, through my affiliate program.

 

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Home Series – Part III

We’ve been talking about our homes and being keeper of our homes, in regards to what it smells like and what it looks like. This time, for the final installment in this series, let’s talk about what our homes sound like.

Kind words are like honey—
    sweet to the soul and healthy for the body.  Proverbs 16:24

We are taught our tongue can be a dangerous member, in the book of James. As the keeper of our home, it is important we are guarding the words that flow throughout the house. What is being said in our house? Is it giving life or death? Is it uplifting or discouraging? Are the words being spoken sweet to the soul?

We set the example and the tone by the words we speak. What helps me is praying aloud, including my son in my prayers. It is important that he hears me actually praying. Also, reciting scriptures aloud is beneficial. At times, I have put scriptures on the walls or the mirrors, not only as a reminder, but when when I see them, as something to say out loud.

When there are multiple people in the home, we have to monitor what they are saying. Small children repeat what they hear. What kind of influence is the TV or music having on the words they speak?

As Moms, it is very important we affirm our children every day. There is so much going on in the world and so many challenges children face. We need to be their safe place, just as God as our Father is our safe place.

Let’s really focus on being the keeper of the home and building up our families.

This is 40.

Yesterday was my 40th birthday.

For me, major birthdays were 16, 18, 21, 30, 32 (like that number), and 40.  Each of these birthdays, I thought my life would be in a certain place and seemingly things usually do not turn out the way I thought.  For example, for 30, I thought I would enter that decade with fierceness, but I had a liver resection 2 days after my 30th birthday to remove a baseball size tumor.  Here at 40, I thought I would be a certain point in my career, business, and family.  But I’ve been recently laid off and have yet to be married.

What I thought and what actually is conflict with each other.  But, I’m perfectly okay with that, because of what I do know.

There is a difference between think and know.  To think is to have a particular belief or idea.  To know is to be aware through observation, inquiry or information; to have developed a relationship with someone through meeting and spending time.

I have a hand full of gray strands, but I know 40 is far from being old.  I know my son is a phenomenal young man and I’m so blessed and honored to be his mom.  I know that I have an incredible family and wonderful friends and even some pretty decent associates.  The information I have from Jeremiah 29:11, “For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the LORD, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end,” lets me know the purpose God has for me will come to pass.

I may not be where I thought I would be at 40, but I know I’m where God planned for me to be.  His ways are not my ways.  I trust Him.  I’m excited to be entering this decade and looking forward to what He has for me.  I’m thankful for the 40 years to date and I press towards living life on purpose, for purpose.  This is 40.

Home Series – Part I

Martha Stewart I am not.  B. Smith I am not.  I’m just me – a single mom of an athletic, forever going, teen boy.  I am the manager of my home.

to be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed.  Titus 2:5

I asked my 16 year old son what home was to him.  His answer, “wherever my mom is.”  Sweet.  But really, when I think of home, I think of a space that is warm and that is really a place of refuge.  There is a lot happening in the world.  In my opinion, it is my responsibility – in keeping my home – to have that space where family is truly family and the space I have is a safe place for those who enter and especially for those who dwell here.

In this first part, I would offer to be careful of what your home smells like.

A clean home will lend itself to smell good.  However, I’m a busy mom and I’m not always going to have time to pull out cleaning supplies every single day.  I also do not have the budget to keep fresh flowers in the house everyday.  I do use candles, with my top scent being gardenia or some kind of berry or tropical.  Personally, I stay away from candles with vanillas.

Opening a window to allow air to circulate is also helpful for a fresh scent.

I’m a baker and absolutely love when it’s baking day.  My house always smells amazing!  If you’re not a baker, I’ve heard putting a cinnamon stick in a pot of water and allowing to simmer OR putting baking soda and water in a crock pot will also work (add a few drops of lemon essential oil or lavender essential oil!).

What does keeping the home mean to you?  What does your home smell like right now?

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At His Service

I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that you present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable to God, which is your reasonable service.  Romans 12:1, NKJV

Those who know me, know I rarely do anything halfway.  When I commit to do something, I stay in there, have a firm grip, similar to that of a bulldog holding on to a “catch”.  I even broke my ankle in a big way in 2013!

When I serve, for me, it’s not just about doing something all the way.  It’s so much more.  Paul said, “Present your bodies a living sacrifice…acceptable to God, which is your reasonable service.”  This scripture offers insight into our purpose.

My parents taught me to be polite and I have passed that lesson on to my son.  When someone gives you something or does something for you, you say thank you.  God has given me eternal life through Jesus Christ.  He has forgiven me of my sins.  He has blessed me abundantly.  He’s done so much, He absolutely deserves much more than a ‘thank you, Lord’ – although that should be included.  Since he owns everything, what else can I offer Him besides the gifts and talents and abilities He has given me?  My reasonable service, is to serve whole-heartedly.  My reasonable service, the least I can do, is give myself back to Him (He already owns me!).  My reasonable service is to present myself as a living sacrifice.  He is the Creator.  What else can you give Him truly, but yourself?

Let’s live on purpose, for purpose, through a life of service unto God.

On Purpose

Greetings!  Thanks for visiting my blog.  Allow me to introduce myself.

I probably should open with, I’m 40 (July 2017), never married mom of 1, who enjoys reading, writing, and being mom (you can read more of my bio here).  However, what I think you should know about me, is that while I have a tendency to be quiet and reserved, once you get to know me, I’m a talker.  I value intelligent conversations about most things, specifically business, church, family, and the things of God.

I trusted Christ as a young girl and am proud of my Christianity.  While I am far from perfect and a am recipient of grace, I do strive to get it right.  My pursuit of right living is not because of who I am, but because of who He is.  I love God and my love for Him makes me want to please Him and honor Him.

The thing about Christianity some may not fully understand is that, we are in this world, but we are not of it.  So what does that look like?  What does a disciple of Christ look like in a world that is continuously moving away from Him.  We understand that God is strategic and has a purpose for everything.  But how do we rest in that while the world is seemingly getting worse and worse around us?

It is my desire that this blog will help believers pursue a life that is on purpose, for purpose.  Nothing weird.  Nothing spooky.  Nothing where we are holier than thou.  Nope.  We’re in this world and we have people who need to know Christ.  We have good news and while the “compelling men to come” may be a desire to shout from the rooftop, “Jesus saves,” what if we actually act like Jesus….walking and interacting with sinners, yet exuding so much love that they were drawn to Him?

This blog is not so much about me, although I will be transparent.  This blog is not so much about you, although I will probably be outspoken about a few things.  This blog is about us.  Us.  The ambassadors of Christ.

Here’s to living on purpose, for purpose, fellow ambassadors.

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